


You're Gonna Be the One That Saves Me

by DevynGreenwood



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Intersex Loki, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki Redemption, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Schizophrenia, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:41:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 21,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevynGreenwood/pseuds/DevynGreenwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki's been tortured, and Tony decides to help an old enemy recover from that. This takes place a year after The Avengers, and doesn't comply with Iron Man 3 or Thor: The Dark World.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saved

It was a crisp autumn day in New York City, with the leaves of trees painted in hues of red, orange, and gold. Tony walked out of his favorite restaurant, and decided to enter a nearby alley to throw his trash away in the dumpster. But before he could do that, he noticed a figure beside the dumpster. He did a double take when he realized who it was: _Loki._ Why was Loki on Earth and not in Asgard where he had been shipped off to along with Thor?

"Loki? What the hell are you doing here?"

Apparently, Tony's tone scared the god, because Loki let out a pitiful keening noise and scuttled back against the fence of the alley. Now breathing fast and heavily, Loki looked up at Tony with fear-widened eyes, and bile rose up in Tony's throat when he saw that Loki's lips were sewn shut. Though he knew Loki was an enemy, this was just wrong. This looked like... torture.

That wasn't the only thing about Loki's appearance that shocked Tony. Loki was emaciated with prominent ribs and collarbones and bruised to no end. His hair was longer and matted with blood, and dried blood coated wounds that Tony could see from his tattered clothes.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Tony said in a softer voice as to not scare Loki any more than he did. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. Why are you here? Wait, I guess you can't talk. Do you want me to help you? I can get those stitches out from your mouth."

When Loki nodded, Tony helped him up and began to search his car for a first aid kit.

"Great, I can't find my first aid kit that I usually keep in here. Maybe it's at home. Would you be okay if I brought you to my place? I could help you. I'll give you food, water, and a place to sleep for the night. Does that sound good?"

Another nod.

"All the other Avengers are on vacation right now except for Bruce, so you're in luck. Come on, let's go."

Tony helped Loki get in the car and began to drive home.

Upon arriving at Avengers Tower, Tony helped Loki walk over towards the common room's sofa. He found a first aid kit in the upstairs linen closet and brought it down.

"Okay, this is going to hurt some, but you'll be okay," Tony said, taking out medical scissors and disinfecting the area with an antiseptic wipe. He began to cut the stitches and pull them out. When he was finished, he dabbed antibiotic ointment on the tiny holes the stitches left.

"I don't think those will leave scars, but I could get you some scar cream if they do," Tony offered.

Loki coughed and tried to clear his throat, but his voice still came out rough and raspy from disuse. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, what would you like to eat? It has to be something light, otherwise you'll just throw it up because your stomach can't handle a ton of food right now."

"I really have no preference," Loki replied.

"Okay, I'll get you some food and water and then call up my friend. He's a doctor, so he should be able to help you."

Loki's meal was a bowl of oatmeal sprinkled with brown sugar, which he devoured along with the orange juice Tony gave him - for vitamin C so he didn't get scurvy, Tony told him. He also got milk, which Tony gave him after remembering that milk was good for starved people.

Bruce Banner arrived in about 20 minutes after Tony called, and the doctor gasped when he saw Loki.

"That's Loki? Christ, Tony, I can barely recognize him."

Noticing Loki's eyes were filled with fear, Bruce attempted to calm Loki down. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. And I'm not going to smash you into the floor again. I just need to do a physical on you and ask you some questions."

Bruce led Loki into one of the common room's bathrooms, and came out 10 minutes later looking frustrated.

"I can't do the lower half of the physical exam without him freaking out," Bruce sighed. "You said he was tortured, so I'm starting to get some worrisome ideas of what happened to him. He's in a near panic attack state right now, and I honestly have no idea what to do."

It took Tony a moment to figure out what Bruce was thinking about, and his face blanched when he did. "Oh god, please tell me you're not serious. That's just screwed up."

"I'm completely serious, Tony. Yeah, it really is screwed up. But unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it was a part of his torture. He won't tell me anything about what happened - he says he'll get in trouble if he does. Which makes me suspect who tortured him. Look, I'm going to knock him out with a sedative so I can finish up the exam."

Bruce went back to the bathroom, and came out looking nauseous.

"I was right," he said. "He's been raped. Not just once, but repeatedly. And he's also been beaten, both by bare hands and by a whip. I don't know how he's ever going to recover from this, because he's so scared of talking to us about what happened to him and who did this to him."

"Wonderful," Tony muttered. "He's probably scared of you because of the Other Guy, so I'll try and ask questions for you."

"Thanks. I found a couple interesting things about him, by the way. The first one is that he has a core body temperature of 0 degrees Fahrenheit. Thor said he was adopted, and I've heard him talk about frost giants. Loki told me he's half Asgardian and half frost giant, so it's fascinating that the Jotun side of him appears to be dominant, at least in temperature."

"That really is interesting," Tony mused. "Apparently the subject of frost giants is something I need to look into once he trusts me enough to let me ask questions about it. What's the second thing you found?"

"Loki doesn't want me to tell anyone," Bruce admitted. "Sorry."

Tony groaned, but decided helping Loki was more important than pressuring him to talk about all of these things. He led Loki up to a shower and let him sleep in the guest room.

"Thank you so much," Loki said quietly. It actually made Tony smile.


	2. Comforted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony manages to get some more information about what happened to Loki.

Loki sat in a dark room, sweating and panting. It was far too hot, and his Jotun heritage wasn't making anything better. It only made the heat even more intense. He waited to see his captors, trying to figure out what kind of punishment they'd planned for him.

A guard came in with a whip and gave Loki forty lashes. By the time the whipping was done, Loki had nearly passed out from the immense pain. Blood seeped out from the wounds the whip had left, and welts burned on his back. But the pain from that was nothing compared to what came next.

After the man with the whip left, two new guards came in, obviously drunk.

"How's our pretty little prisoner doing?" one of them sneered. "Oh, I totally forgot. You can't speak. Well, isn't that a shame. I'd love to hear you scream."

"Come on, you piece of trash," the other slurred. "I'll make you feel better."

Both guards unzipped their pants, and Loki's eyes widened in terror when he realized what was going to happen. He tried to brace himself for the pain, but he never could have prepared for the agony that came as one of them shoved himself inside. Loki's entrance burned from the dryness, and he bit his lip to stop himself from screaming and tearing the stitches on his mouth. Still, the guards noticed the tears in his eyes.

"What's the matter, princess?" the one seated inside of him mocked. "Does it hurt? Trust me, I can make this a lot worse."

The man began to thrust, and Loki couldn't stop himself from screaming.

"Shut up and take it, you little bitch," the other guard growled, slapping Loki in the face.

Loki began fighting his assaulters, but it only made things worse. They just made it more painful for him as they relished in his screams. Tears pricked at his eyes when the guard inside of him slapped him in the face.

"Stop whining, you filthy cunt," the man growled. "You know you want this."

Loki woke up from his nightmare in a cold sweat as he gasped for air. It was only a nightmare, but why did he relive what happened instead of having just a randomly put together bad dream? He nearly jumped when someone opened the door, but he was relieved to see that it was only Tony.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked quietly. "I heard you yelling out in your sleep and it woke me up. Bad dream, huh?"

Loki nodded, watching Tony sit down on the bed next to him.

"Look, I want to ask you some questions," Tony said. "You okay with that?"

A bit hesitantly, Loki nodded again.

"Okay. First off, who tortured you? Or at least tell me where you were when you were being kept captive."

"I was in an underground Ten Rings headquarters," Loki replied.

Tony's blood boiled, and his head swam with thoughts of denial. The Ten Rings hadn't been a part of his life for years, and now they think they have the right to use rape in torture? He clenched his fists, breathing heavily through grit teeth. He knew better than to scare Loki with his anger at the group, but it took a couple deep breaths for him to collect himself enough to respond.

"I ran into a similar situation with the Ten Rings," he confessed. "So now that I know they did those things to you, this is something I have to take care of. Why are you on Earth?"

"Thor's father decided it would be better to banish me to Earth to learn humility just as he did for his true son. I lived for about a month on my own. I was homeless, but I was able to get by until I was captured. And my lips were sewn shut so I could not tell any more lies."

Tony swallowed hard, now questioning the ethics of the judicial system of Asgard. "That's just plain screwed up."

"I know," Loki sighed. "But I suppose it could have been worse, as it always can be in any bad situation. Look, I just... I just wanted to thank you for being so kind to me. I can't thank you enough for giving me food. I was so hungry, but I was too prideful to beg for money."

"You're welcome," Tony said with a smile. "Hey, that reminds me. It's about breakfast time right now. How about you and I go out to get something to eat? We could go to IHOP. It's this pancakes place, and they also have other food, like waffles and eggs and bacon. Does that sound good?"

Loki's mouth watered just thinking of all the food, so he said yes. A quick car ride later, Tony and Loki were sitting in a booth inside the restaurant. Loki ordered chocolate chip pancakes, and Tony got blueberry waffles. Loki scarfed down his food at first, but tried to savor the rest. He thought he was lucky that Tony was doing this for him, and he didn't want to take advantage of Tony's concern for him.

When they arrived home, Loki took a shower. He revelled in the soothing hot spray of the water and the pleasant scents of the bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Now feeling calm and at ease, Loki went downstairs to see Tony sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.

"Looks like Reindeer Games is back," Tony grinned. "Just don't drip water everywhere. We need to get you a haircut, by the way. Do you want to watch a movie with me? You can pick whatever you want."

Loki's mind reeled at all of the options, so in the end, he let Tony choose. They ended up watching Tangled - Tony claimed that Disney movies could be watched at any age. The funny parts and the songs seemed to cheer Loki up, and Tony didn't fail to notice this.

After the movie had finished and Loki ate almost all of the popcorn out of hunger, Tony said he was going downstairs to his lab.

"Wait!" Loki called after Tony began to walk down the stairs. "Can I come with?"

Tony spun around to look at Loki uncertainly. "I guess so. Just as long as you don't break anything. Promise me that you won't touch anything without my permission and you can come with me."

Loki promised, and the two headed downstairs to Tony's lab. The Iron Man suits were held in a line of vaults along the wall, and neatly organized tables with gadgets and lab equipment filled the room. He watched a robot race towards Tony, apparently in a greeting.

"Loki, meet DUM-E," Tony said, patting the robot on its head as if it was a dog. "And DUM-E, meet Loki."

"Am I really supposed to say hello to a robot?" Loki asked, rolling his eyes.

Tony pointed a finger at him and said, "Hey! Don't you get sassy on me. I wanted to ask you something earlier, but I forgot, so here it is: Do you mind if I run some tests on your magic? I've heard that it can do amazing things."

"I don't mind, as long as I don't become your personal lab rat," Loki replied.

"Awesome," Tony grinned, taking some of the lab equipment from one of the tables.


	3. Curious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns some things about Loki.

After running scans on Loki's body, Tony found out that his guest's magic came not from spoken incantations, but was an innate ability to manipulate his surroundings and give off energy. Most fascinating was Loki's ability to form ice and snow - what Tony guessed was a Jotun trait - as well as his remarkable shapeshifting.

"Okay, we're all done," Tony announced, brushing his hands against each other as if to get rid of dirt despite the lack of any on his palms. "I need to ask you some more questions. I've been doing some research, and I'm really interested in this frost giant thing. Could you show me what you look like in your Jotun form? The only pictures I found of frost giants were illustrations."

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say, because Loki narrowed his eyes and practically snarled at Tony.

"Why the hell would I show you that? It's not for anyone to see!"

Holding his hands up in the air, Tony began to slowly back away from Loki as if the god was an aggressive dog. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn't mean to make you upset. Why are you so sensitive about it anyway? I mean, it's your business and you have the right to feeling like that about it, but-"

Loki bared his teeth in an animalistic expression of rage. "Quit your prattling! I will _not_ show it to you. _Ever._ "

"Okay then. I'm sorry for pissing you off. We cool?"

"What?" Loki said. "Cool? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Here, I'll rephrase it for someone of your type," Tony muttered. "Art we at peaceth?"

"Yes, we are, as soon as you stop doing such a bad job at speaking in archaic terms."

Tony laughed, bringing on a playful smirk from Loki, and it seemed that once again the god was at ease.

"Hey, about what Bruce told me," Tony started, preparing himself for what he was about to say with a deep breath. "He told me there was something... interesting about you that you told him to never tell anyone. What is it?"

Loki's eyes widened and then narrowed. "As if I would trust someone like you with that information."

Tony sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I don't know whether you're insulting me or not, but could you please tell me? I won't tell a single person. Promise."

After Loki took a deep breath, his face reddened with shame. "I'm a freak. That's what it is."

"A freak? What do you mean?"

"I... I was born a freak. The frost giants are one-gendered, and they're... dual-sexed. They have both female and male reproductive organs, and the trait just had to show up in me. Your kind may know this as being intersex, but I know it as being a freak. I should've never been born."

Tony's mind delved into filthy territory at the mental image Loki presented him with, but Tony immediately reminded himself that Loki was skeletally thin and recovering from being raped. "That doesn't make you a freak. That just makes you unique. And it's not like it's your fault. You were just born that way. What's so wrong about it?"

Loki sighed and shook his head. "You just don't understand, do you? I've never been able to show someone my true form out of shame. I just wish I was normal."

"Normal is boring! And there really isn't anything normal, because everyone defines normal differently. Hey, at least you must have a ton of fun masturbating.

Surprising Tony, Loki let out a laugh. "I suppose you're right. I just... I've never even touched my female parts because of all the shame I feel."

Tony frowned, feeling a pang of sadness in his chest at how hateful Loki was of his true body. "We can fix how you think about yourself. You just need to allow things some time, and hopefully you won't feel so much self-loathing soon."

Loki nodded and looked away from Tony, giving out a silent signal that he didn't wish to talk about the topic anymore.

Later that evening, Tony cut Loki's hair to fall just a little above his shoulders. He didn't do as bad as a job as he thought he would, and he felt an unexpected happiness when Loki said honestly that he liked it. Tony never thought he'd enjoy helping a war criminal, but then again, stranger things had happened. He decided to sit down on the couch with Loki to watch TV. It wasn't too long before Loki got tired, but Tony never expected for Loki to fall asleep with his head rested on Tony's chest. Loki looked peaceful when he slept, and instead of snoring, he made a sound akin to a cat's purr. Tony found this strangely endearing. He let Loki sleep, slowly stroking his raven hair. It had grown soft from the various types of hair products stored in the master bathroom, and those same products left Loki smelling of lavender.

Breathing in Loki's relaxing scent, Tony fell asleep as well.


	4. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gives Tony more information about what happened to him.

At around 8 in the morning, Loki began to stir. His head was still rested on Tony's chest against the blue glow of the arc reactor, but the purring stopped as he started to wake up. Tony felt like Loki was a cat who'd fallen asleep on him - he couldn't just move. So he sighed and tried to wake the snoozing god up.

"Hey, Lokes. Wake up. I need to get up and I don't want you getting angry at me if I move."

Loki mumbled something Tony couldn't make out before stretching and getting up off the couch. "Good morning," he greeted. "Did I fall asleep on you? I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Tony said, dismissing the issue with a short wave of his hand. He wasn't going to let himself think of how nice Loki's cold skin felt. "What do you want for breakfast? Don't say it doesn't matter. Do you want scrambled eggs, waffles, cereal, or something else?"

Loki's head swam at all of the options, and he nearly broke into happy tears at the prospect of food. It had been so long since he'd had a proper meal when Tony saw him in that alley. "I'll have eggs."

"Just eggs?" Tony questioned. "You can have something else with them, like bacon or toast."

"...I'll have toast then."

Tony figured that he would never get used to how meek Loki had become. The prideful, grandiose god he saw in New York was a stark comparison to this starved, abused man. Loki looked like only a shell of himself with his ghostly pale skin, prominent bones, hollow cheeks, and dull green eyes that used to be so bright and intelligent. Tony couldn't take it much longer, so he decided that as crazy as he felt doing it, he had to help Loki get better.

After Loki had finished his breakfast, Tony led him over to the couch carrying a StarkPad. "I need to know in great detail what happened in that headquarters. I'll bring some pictures up on this tablet of Ten Rings members, and you tell me if you recognize any of them. Got it?"

Loki nodded, taking a deep breath. "It was always at 3:00 PM that they'd bring the whip down. I received forty lashes each time. At 6:00 PM, the... they came down to..."

His eyes filling with tears, Loki's hands began to tremble. "They came down to... violate me. And at 9:00 PM, they beat me up without the whip. I don't know why there was a clock in my cell, but I was able to somewhat prepare myself for each level of torture by learning the times things happened at. But I could never brace myself for the... for-"

Loki burst into tears, crying into his hands. The sight filled Tony with an odd sadness and pity, and he carefully put his hand on Loki's shoulder and patted him on the back. Almost unconsciously, Tony started to stroke Loki's hair, relieved and impressed at how quickly it calmed Loki down. His breathing slowed, and he managed to stop crying after a few minutes.

"Are you better now?" Tony asked, concern still remaining in his eyes.

Loki said yes, so Tony brought up the pictures of the most notable Ten Rings members. It turned out that Loki had seen many of them, which made Tony cringe. How many men had tortured him?

"I have a question," Tony said.

"Go ahead."

"Do you conceal your... female parts with an illusion?"

"Yes."

"Were you able to do that in your cell despite how weak you were? I imagine that it would take some energy to keep an illusion up, and you had to have had practically no energy without food."

"I was still able to conceal it because of how long I've kept it hidden," Loki answered. "If not for that, I'd have an even worse time in that wretched cell."

"Wait, you can get pregnant?" Tony gasped. "But... you're a guy."

"I have a uterus, so yes, I can get pregnant, moron," Loki hissed. "But don't go testing that out. Why are you so fascinated with what's between my legs anyway?"

"I don't know, but it's not for what you might think," Tony replied, though he was lying a little to himself. He did want to see Loki's female reproductive organs out of more than just innocuous curiosity, but he needed to keep reminding himself that Loki was skinny as hell right then and recovering from being violated. Loki didn't need anyone else to desire him.

"Fine, I believe you," Loki said, voice half-coated in sarcasm and disbelief. Still, he was able to lie well enough that it appeared to Tony as if he really did believe the mechanic.

Later, Tony found Loki staring down at the city below the balcony of the guest room. His chest filled with worry as he saw the god contemplating how far below the ground was.

"Thinking of jumping?" he asked nervously.

"That's none of your business," Loki muttered. "I'm only thinking. It would be a stupid way to die if I did jump. I'd be a coward."

"So don't jump," Tony said, and he smiled in relief when Loki said he wouldn't.


	5. Hostile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other Avengers come back from vacation and things don't go well.

Tony woke up the next morning to the sound of J.A.R.V.I.S.' voice.

"I am sorry to awake you early, sir, but it appears that your fellow Avengers have returned," the AI announced smoothly. "Shall I let them in?"

Still groggy from sleep, Tony took a second to process what J.A.R.V.I.S. had said. When he did, he jumped out of bed and ran out of the master bedroom in a panic. "Damn it! Loki's here!"

Tony barged into the guest room and shook his guest awake. "Come on, you need to hide. Go in the closet!"

"Funny, people usually tell me to come out of the closet, not go in it," Loki muttered, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"This isn't funny!" Tony snapped, though he had to admit he was a little amused by Loki's response. "Everyone else is back from vacation, and if Clint sees you, you're done for."

Loki still wasn't cooperating, so Tony shoved him into the closet.

"Hey!" the god yelled, clearly upset at being shoved into a small space. "That was rude!"

"Shut up."

"That too."

"Shut up," Tony repeated. "Seriously. They're going to hear you. Do you want an arrow in between your eyes today? No? Good. Now keep quiet."

Hesitantly, Tony walked away from the closet to the common room and told J.A.R.V.I.S. to let the team inside. Luckily, everyone seemed to be in a good mood, at least for the most part. Natasha and Clint were laughing uncontrollably over what must have been an inside joke, Steve and Thor were smiling as usual, and Bruce appeared calm. Tony greeted every one of his teammates, trying not to worry about what Loki could be doing. For all Tony knew, the god could be again considering jumping off of the balcony. He successfully dodged a crushing bear hug from Thor and started to explain what had happened with Loki.

"Look, I know many of you will be upset to hear this," Tony began, "but I need to let all of you know about it. For the first time since the attack on New York a year ago, I saw Loki. But before you get angry about that, I need to make something clear - there's a bigger enemy right now than Loki, and I've run into them before."

"The Ten Rings?" Natasha guessed. "What do they want?"

"I don't know, but why was Loki on Earth?" Clint asked, eyes narrowed. Natasha put a hand on his shoulder and murmured something, as if to placate him.

"I don't know the answer to either of those questions," Tony said. "But Loki seems to know a lot about the group, and he remains a vital source of information if we want to stop them from causing any trouble."

Thor stepped forward. "Where is Loki right now?"

Tony sighed and decided that he'd have to say it sooner than later. "Loki's living with me at the moment."

Tony's teammates burst into a flurry of heated conversation and yelled-out questions, and Tony had to yell to get them to hush.

"Look," he said, "the Loki living with me right now is very different from the Loki we saw in New York. I found him in an alley - homeless and nearly starved to death. I couldn't just leave him to die, I mean, the sight was just pitiful. He was actually scared of me at first, and I found out pretty early on that he was tortured. His lips were sewn shut when I found him."

Steve blanched, but Clint muttered "probably deserved it". At hearing this, the captain's expression darkened.

"Clint, don't talk like that," Steve admonished. "I don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that, not even Loki. That's just plain wrong. Whoever did that to him must be sick."

"And I know you hate Loki for what he did to you, and you have every right to feel that way," Bruce said, "but there are some things that happened to him that no one deserves."

"Like what?"

"He was raped," Tony announced, which made Clint and the rest of the group go silent out of shock. Steve and Natasha had gone as white as a sheet, and Thor appeared torn in between anger and grief.

"The Ten Rings are going to have to pay for what they've done to him," Thor grit out. "Please, I need to see my brother. Where is he?"

At that moment, Loki came down the stairs to the common room, and everyone went quiet out of shock. Though he didn't look as bad as he did when Tony found him, Loki was gaunt and ashen. His hunger-dulled eyes widened at the sight of the Avengers, and he started to hyperventilate. He stepped away until his back was up against the railing of the stairway and breathed heavily, his hands trembling.

"Loki, it's okay!" Tony exclaimed, which only upset Loki even more. "We're not going to hurt you!"

Carefully, Thor approached Loki. "Loki, it's just me. My friends will not hurt you, and neither will I. Come here, I missed you."

Thor wrapped Loki in the most loving hug Tony had ever seen and let his brother sob into his chest. He kept his hand on the back of Loki's neck, whispering something in a language Tony had never heard before.

"Brother," Loki gasped, his chest heaving with his sobs. "They told me you were dead. I missed you..."

"I missed you too," Thor replied, eyes filled with a sincere love that admittedly made Tony jealous.


	6. Trusted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki learns to trust Tony more.

After Thor and Loki had talked for some time, Tony waited to find Loki alone so he could talk to him. When he did, the god was again on the guest room's balcony, and Tony panicked.

"Loki! Get away from the edge!" he yelled.

Startled, Loki spun around, but seemed to relax when he saw Tony. "I wasn't going to jump, Stark. I was just lost in thought."

 _Thank God._ For some reason, Tony had been anxious about Loki's safety. Overprotective, even - not like he'd ever admit it. He walked over to Loki, took his hand, and led him back inside.

"I just couldn't stand you being right on the edge," Tony explained. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened when you were captive. You see, I need some more information, and I think it'd be good for us to learn to trust each other a little more. You don't need to tell me absolutely everything, but I think it would help for you to talk to someone about things. Like how you felt when it happened and how it makes you feel now."

"So you intend on becoming my therapist?" Loki quipped.

"No, I intend on becoming your confidant. I think it'd help you to have someone you could trust with anything."

"Where should I start?"

"Wherever you want to."

Loki took a deep breath and began to recount the recent events of his life. "Well, it all went wrong when I discovered that I was half frost giant. Long story short, Thor attacked Jotunheim with his friends and me, and one of the frost giants there grabbed my arm. It went blue, revealing that I had Jotun blood. That wouldn't have been such a terrible discovery if I had not been raised on the idea that frost giants are monsters. And they are, which makes me a monster."

"That doesn't mean you're a monster," Tony interjected. "It's not like you chose to be born half frost giant. You can't help that you were born that way."

"I feel like I'm a monster, though," Loki said with a frown. "Never mind, you wouldn't understand. After I found out, I had a nervous breakdown and tried to destroy Jotunheim. Then, I tried to take my life by letting myself fall into the void between Asgard and the rest of the Nine Realms."

"Wait, you tried to commit suicide?"

"What's it to you?" Loki snapped. "It's none of your business."

"Okay, calm down," Tony said, raising his hands as if he'd been told to surrender. "It just... shocked me, that's all. Continue on."

Loki resumed telling his story, but Tony could see it became harder and harder for him to stay composed as it went on. By the time he was talking about the physical abuse he received in his cell, Loki was obviously struggling to not get upset.

"I guess I should have been thankful that I don't get injured easily, but that just meant they needed to beat me up more to get the same effect they'd get on a human," Loki said, his voice thick as if he was choking up. "I got used to it, though. At least for the most part. But it was the insults that hurt the most. They'd call me a slut when they... when-"

Loki started crying then, unconsciously making pitiful whimpering noises. He gasped for breath, his entire body trembling.

"It's alright, Loki, you don't need to tell me any more than that," Tony soothed. "Do you want a hug?"

When Loki nodded, Tony gently wrapped his arms around him and began to stroke his hair and pat his back. The repetitive motion seemed to calm Loki down, because he soon stopped crying.

"Thank you for being there for me," Loki whispered. "I just wanted to let you know that... I trust you."

Tony smiled, which made Loki give a small smile that made Tony's day.


	7. Reconciled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers learn how to get along with Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a filler chapter - not very much plot, but a chapter nonetheless.

Later that day, Natasha came to visit Loki in his room. His eyes widened with panic when she stepped in - what did she want from him?

"Don't look so startled," Natasha said. "I just wanted to talk to you."

She took a seat on the bed and took a deep breath. "I'm trying to convince Clint that you're not a threat, but he's not really budging on the issue. But I told him he would be sleeping on the couch for an entire week if he didn't agree to avoid fighting with you or saying bad things about you."

"Why did you do that for me?" Loki asked curiously. "I threatened you and compromised your... friend."

"Because I know what it's like to feel like a monster," Natasha sighed. "It's not fun. The thing I'm the most scared of is losing control. You know everything I've done, and though I don't know _everything you've done_ , I know enough to see that we're really not all that different. I'm guessing that maybe you hated me because you saw yourself in me, but I could be wrong. Anyway... I'll make sure you don't get any arrows in your back. And if Clint goes against what I told him, I'll kick his ass for you."

"...Thank you," Loki said hesitantly. "I just still don't know why you would do this all for me. I mean, I am very grateful for it, but I still do not quite understand your reasoning."

"Maybe you never will," Natasha replied. "A part of my reasoning, however, is that I don't stand for torture. It's just sick, no matter who's being tormented. I expect you're smart enough to figure out the rest. Take care of yourself, okay?"

Loki nodded and as soon as Natasha left, he began to stare at the ceiling and wonder what he did to earn the redhead's respect. Suddenly, he caught a whiff of a nearly intoxicating smell. Someone was cooking something, and it smelled delicious. Loki's stomach growled, so he bounded down the stairs and found Steve grilling outside.

"I'm making steak for everyone tonight," Steve announced to Loki. "Want some?"

"Yes, please," Loki responded. "It smells wonderful."

"Thank you," Steve smiled. "Look, I can't promise that we'll get along, but I promise to be as nice to you as I can. I don't stand for torture, no matter who the person is, so I'm not going to be a jerk towards you just because of what you did. I'd tell you that I'm always available for you to talk to, but Tony seems to have already filled that role. He's really fond of you now, you know. And when he's not being a you-know-what just for the hell of it, he can actually be a nice person to be around. I just hope things between you two stay good."

"They will," Loki replied. "And thank you for understanding things. It seems like everyone's being nice today, because Natasha just told me she's going to keep Clint in line."

"She sure will," Steve laughed. "She's really scary when she's angry. Otherwise, she's a nice person to talk to, and she can actually be pretty funny. I think you two will have no problem getting along."

An hour later, the steaks were done, so everyone gathered around the dining room table. Loki had trouble not wolfing down all of his meat at once - it was juicy and cooked to his liking. The sides were good as well - alfredo noodles and sweet potatoes with marshmallows and a bit of brown sugar.

"Loki, we're going to be playing Cards of Humanity after everyone's done eating," Bruce said. "It's basically a game where you have a black card and you try to put down the funniest - or in Tony's case, the meanest or most inappropriate - white card down to go with the black card. Do you want to play with us?"

"Sure."

Loki was surprised at how easy it was to have fun with everyone playing the game. At one point, everyone could barely continue on because they were still laughing at what Loki put down for "Spice up your sex life by bringing ________ into the bedroom." Loki had chosen "Harry Potter erotica."

Tony ended up winning because it turned out he had an even more wicked sense of humor than Loki had seen when talking to him. The mechanic came up to Loki's room that night, smiling brightly.

"What's gotten you so happy?" Loki asked, a tiny smile quirking up the corner of his lip.

"You seem a lot better," Tony answered. "And that makes me happy. You're not as scared, and your eyes look brighter. You look... more alive, I guess. How are you feeling?"

"I actually feel great," Loki smiled. "Thanks to you, I don't feel as scared or sad anymore. You're a wonderful friend, you know that?"

For some reason, Tony's heart sank at the word "friend", but he thanked Loki anyway.


	8. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has to face his feelings about Loki.

As time went on, Loki slowly started to recover. He was soon at a healthy weight instead of being skeletal, and he didn't seem as timid as he did when Tony saw him in the alley. And also as time went on, Tony started to feel strange around Loki. He wondered why he felt nervous around Loki even though the god wasn't doing anything to cause him anxiety. But he caught himself taking sneak peeks of Loki putting his shirt on, and he noticed that he often looked at Loki's lips. And that's when it hit him - Tony was attracted to Loki, and he had no idea what to do with that information. Was he supposed to just tell Loki? The idea of such a conversation was enough to make him panic.

One night, Tony fell asleep thinking about Loki. He dreamed of the god sucking him off and woke up sexually frustrated and disappointed. _Damn it, I'm attracted to the same guy who threw me out a window,_ Tony thought. Sighing, he thought things over and finally made a decision - he was going to confess his feelings to Loki and not care if it goes badly. After all, the worst thing Loki could do was not return his feelings. And although that would hurt Tony a lot, it was much better than the awkwardness of trying to hide his feelings.

Tony managed to catch Loki alone in the middle of the afternoon. Loki was in his room sipping a rather girly Starbucks drink, dressed in a grey cable-knit sweater and black jeans. Tony thought there was something sexy about how Loki looked in the sweater, but dismissed the thought. Now was not the time for getting lost in his thoughts about Loki.

"You like those sweet drinks with all the whipped cream?" Tony said with a playful grin. "I thought you would drink your coffee black."

"I like sweets," Loki replied. "There aren't many sweets on Asgard, so I'm taking advantage of the abundance here. What did you come down here for?"

"Okay, look, this is going to be totally awkward," Tony sighed. "But I guess I have to just say it. You're really making me question my sexuality."

"I'm what?" Loki said with a smirk.

"I said you're making me question my sexuality. Didn't you hear me?"

"I did, but I just wanted to hear you say it again," Loki replied, his smirk bigger now. "So you're attracted to me?"

"Of course I am. You're gorgeous, and you're really smart and an interesting person to talk to. Why wouldn't I be attracted to you?"

To Tony's surprise, Loki had lost his smug attitude and was now blushing. "It's just that... I haven't had a partner in a while. And I never thought you'd find me attractive. I guess you could say I'm attracted to you too."

"Aww, you're blushing!"

"Shut up, Stark," Loki laughed.

"Make me."

At that moment, Loki kissed Tony hungrily, running his hands down Tony's body. Tony reciprocated the kiss, wrapping his arms around Loki's slim waist. They paused to catch their breath before Loki made the kiss rougher, more desperate. Now, the both of them were hard, their breath ragged and panting.

"Damn, how'd you get so good at that?" Tony asked. Loki just smiled and took off his sweater, revealing a milky torso hardened with sinewy muscle. He stripped down to his underwear before Tony stopped him.

"Wait, are you sure you want this?" he asked. "I just don't want sex to trigger any bad memories for you."

"Trust me, it won't. I trust you."

"Okay. But I think you should be on top just in case."

Loki nodded got undressed completely, smirking when he saw Tony drinking in his lean form. Then, Tony got undressed and lied down on the bed face-up, giddy with anticipation. The sex was probably the best Tony ever had in his life - Loki truly was good at pleasuring him. After both of them came, to Tony's surprise, Loki started to cuddle with him.

"I never thought you'd be a cuddler," Tony mused with a small smile. "God, you're so cold. At least you can be my ice pack in the summer with how much you love to cuddle."

Loki smiled and hugged Tony closer, resting his head on Tony's chest. Upon meeting the cold metal of the arc reactor, Loki raised his head and looked at the glowing blue light that shone through Tony's shirt.

"What's this?" Loki asked, curiously poking at the arc reactor.

"That's what I need to stay alive, so don't try taking it out or anything. It's called the arc reactor. I have a giant version of it powering the tower."

As if that wasn't enough to sate his curiosity, Loki continued to poke the arc reactor, forcing Tony to take Loki's hand so he'd stop.

Loki gave Tony a mischievous smile that made him smile back, and for the first time in a while, Loki felt truly happy.


	9. Mistreated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finally tells Tony everything about his time in captivity.

That night, Loki chose to lie in bed with Tony - not for sex, but for the simple comfort of sleeping next to someone. Tony quickly learned that despite being half frost giant, Loki loved how warm the mechanic was. With Loki resting his head on his chest, he felt content and light, as if he were walking on air. He smiled at Loki, carding his fingers through the god's silky black hair. Loki made a pleased noise that sounded like a purr and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Tony. Loki's cold skin brought goosebumps to Tony's, but he had to admit that Loki looked cute lying like that. He appeared more youthful when he slept due to his peaceful expression. Tony smiled again, perfectly content to lie like this forever. But he couldn't, not just because it was impossible to do anything for forever - Loki was starting to stir.

Tony heard Loki whimper, sometimes saying things like "stop" and "no". Quickly, though, Loki's words changed to "please stop"s and "it hurts"s, and Tony felt that he had to wake Loki up. He shook him awake, nearly tearing up himself when Loki started to cry.

"Loki, it's okay," Tony soothed, drawing Loki into a hug. "It was a nightmare. No one's here to hurt you now. It's just me, and I'd never even think of hurting you."

Loki was crying into Tony's chest, his tears getting the fabric wet. He looked up at Tony, his expression somehow making him appear like a scared child. "Promise you won't do it to me."

"Do what to you? I just told you I wouldn't even think of hurting you."

"Promise you won't... that you won't..." Loki stammered. "Promise me you won't rape me."

Tony felt sick to his stomach. He knew he'd never even plan to do such a thing to Loki, so why was Loki saying such things?

"I promise," Tony said. "But where'd you get the idea that I would? I'd never do that to you. That's a screwed up thing to do to someone, and I wouldn't even dream of doing it."

"I trust you, but I just want to be sure that it doesn't happen again," Loki explained. "I-I'm sorry for making it seem like I thought you'd do that to me. I know you wouldn't ever do that."

"It's okay, just breathe," Tony said, holding Loki tighter and stroking his hair. Once again, the repetitive motion seemed to soothe the god, and he was calm again within a minute or two.

"Do you feel like talking about it?" Tony asked. "It might help to get things off your chest. How did you feel when they did that to you?"

"I felt like I'd never felt anything more painful in my life," Loki admitted. "It burned, and I could barely walk afterwards. And I felt disgusting after the fact, because the semen would mix with the blood and coat my skin. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't because my lips were sewn shut. Still, it would sometimes hurt so badly that I would scream involuntarily and end up tearing at the stitches. That always hurt a lot, and I got more blood on me from it. But it didn't hurt as much as when they whipped me. After 10 lashes, I was already crying, and I still had 30 more to go before it'd be over until the next whipping came."

"That's just plain sick," Tony replied, cringing. "Look, I'm going to find those people that did all of that to you, and they're going to pay for it. I promise you that they won't get away with this. What were the conditions in your cell like?"

"It was terrible. I didn't even have access to a bathroom. Not like there was much waste being produced in my body since I had no food or water, but still. And the blood coated everything, along with the semen. It ended up smelling really bad after only a week of me being in there. I ended up using the blood to make tally marks on the wall because there was just so much of it. It never came off of the clothes I wore, which were basically rags. And it never completely came off my skin, no matter how hard I tried to rub the dried blood off. I hated that place. I-I'm glad that you saved me."

"I'm glad that I saved you too, because that sounds awful," Tony remarked. "But you're safe here with me. If anyone even tries to hurt you, I'll kick their ass, mark my words. You don't need to worry, because I'll keep you safe."

"T-thank you," Loki said quietly. "I'm thankful that I have you. You're always so nice to me, and you give me food and water, which I can't thank you enough for. Thank you for everything."

"You don't need to thank me," Tony responded, pulling Loki into a tender hug. Then, he lied back down with Loki and smiled when the god fell asleep on his chest again.


	10. Helpful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki decides to help Tony out.

Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had been working on adding night vision to the suit, but he couldn't figure it out. Hesitantly, he called Loki downstairs - Tony knew Loki was smart after he had displayed such interest in the lab. Loki arrived a minute later, dressed in his pajamas.

"Why are you calling me down here at 5 AM?" Loki asked grumpily, glaring at Tony.

"It's that early? I'm sorry, I didn't know. Time seems to pass differently when I'm working in the lab. Come here, I need your help with something."

Loki hesitated for a moment before walking over to Tony. "What are you trying to do?"

"Putting night vision in the suit," Tony answered. "Do you think you could give me a hand?"

Loki fired a blast of magic at the suit's faceplate.

"Hey! What are you - oh."

The eyes of the suit were now seeing in night vision, and when Loki pressed a button, they switched to regular vision. He pressed it again to show that the button was an on/off switch for the night vision.

"Thank you so much," Tony grinned. "You're amazing."

"Don't flatter me, Stark," Loki said with a smirk. "I'm already told I have too big of an ego."

"Same here," Tony laughed. "Do you want to try one of Earth's tech devices?"

Tony placed a laptop in front of Loki. "It's a computer-"

"Yes, I know what it is," Loki interrupted. "Computers are a rather old piece of technology on Asgard. I know how to work one."

"Well, I've found some Ten Rings sites that I'd like you to take down. Think you can handle it?"

"Of course I can," Loki said, visiting one of the sites Tony had written on a Post-It note on the computer. He typed quickly, then showed Tony that the site had been deleted.

Awestruck, Tony could only pat Loki on the back.

Loki did the same thing for the rest of the sites, and then moved on to delete other troublesome sites - child pornography websites, for example. By 7 AM, he had taken down over a hundred websites due to his fast working pace.

"Wow, you really did a lot, didn't you?" Tony said with a smile. "You're awesome, you know that?"

Loki smiled. "I'm going to the kitchen for breakfast. Hopefully Steve's making blueberry waffles today. Those are my favorite besides chocolate chip pancakes."

Tony followed Loki downstairs to where Steve and Natasha were cooking something that smelled delicious on the stove. To Loki's luck, they were making chocolate chip pancakes. Tony and Loki sat down in adjacent chairs at the table.

"Guess what Loki did this morning?" Tony said with a smile.

"Hopefully not blow up your lab," Natasha quipped.

"Thank God he didn't do that. He took down a bunch of Ten Rings sites and then some other bad sites on top of that! He's an absolute genius. Isn't that right, Lokes?"

"Never call me that again," Loki admonished, though he couldn't help but smile at Tony's compliment.

"That's great," Steve said. "I'm glad to hear that he's doing good things instead of causing chaos."

"He also helped me with modifying the suit," Tony boasted, causing Loki to blush slightly and smile wider. "And yes, I'm also glad that he's not doing things like throwing me out of a window."

After breakfast, Tony took Loki back to the lab. "Okay, I hope you trust me enough to do this for me now- I want to see you in your frost giant form."

Loki went silent for a few moments before nodding. "Okay, I'll show you. But I'll probably scare you away."

After taking a deep breath, Loki shifted to his Jotun form. Tony gasped in surprise - he had seen the illustrations of frost giants, but Loki's form was somehow not what he expected. His skin was a beautiful azure blue with royal heritage markings, and his eyes were a bright crimson. The red didn't remind Tony of fire, but of being submerged in ice water. Ancient winters lied in those eyes, and Tony was captivated.

"Oh my god," Tony whispered. "You're beautiful."

Surprised, Loki raised his eyebrows. "You find me... beautiful? Even like this?"

"Especially like this," Tony said, tracing the markings on Loki's face. "Are these scars?"

"No, they're markings," Loki replied. "Every Jotun is born with them. I inherited royal markings from my biological father, who was the king of Jotunheim."

"Well, I think they're gorgeous."

"How can you find me beautiful like this?" Loki asked, still stupefied by Tony's reaction. "I'm a monster."

"You're not a monster," Tony said, pulling Loki into a loving embrace. "You're absolutely gorgeous."

"You really think so?"

"Of course I think so."

Loki smiled wider than Tony had ever seen him smile.


	11. Concerned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns that Loki is not all there.

Later that night when Tony and Loki were in bed together, Tony noticed Loki mumbling something to himself. He dismissed it as unimportant, but then he saw Loki's eyes darting around the room and finally setting on one spot. Having no idea what was going on, Tony just sighed and tried to ignore it. But Loki continued to talk to himself under his breath, and it got on Tony's nerves. Still, Tony wasn't about to yell at Loki and scare him, so he took a deep breath and reminded himself to stay calm.

"Loki, what are you doing?" he sighed.

"I'm talking to them," Loki replied. "They won't shut up, so I'm trying to get them to be quiet."

"Who's them?"

"Don't you hear them? They're talking right now."

"I don't hear them," Tony said. "Maybe you're hearing things that aren't really there."

Loki argued that "they" were there, which made Tony need to take another deep breath so he wouldn't snap at him. He decided to try the direct approach. "Loki, do you ever hear or see things that other people don't?"

"All the time."

"Well, why didn't you tell me about this before? Loki, we're going to need to take you to a doctor. You might have developed a mental illness from all that time in that cell."

"I'm not crazy," Loki hissed.

"I never said you were. Look, I'll take you to a psychiatrist in the morning."

On the car ride in the morning, Loki was giving Tony the death glare.

"Stop that," Tony said curtly. "You can either make this hard or easy for yourself. Take your pick."

When they reached the psychiatrist's office, Loki finally spoke. "I don't see why you think I'm crazy. I'm just fine. Just because you can't hear what I hear doesn't mean I'm crazy."

"I never called you crazy. I meant that all the isolation in your cell may have made you develop a mental illness. Now, let's go inside, and please don't get angry at the doctor."

After many questions and a written test, the psychiatrist delivered the bad news.

"Your friend appears to have paranoid schizophrenia," the young blonde said to Tony. "But luckily, schizophrenia is easily treated with medication and therapy. He also appears to suffer from depressive episodes. Depression is also very treatable as long as the sufferer continues to take their medication. I wrote down a prescription for an antidepressant and an anti-psychotic. Both should start working in about a month. If there are any problems or troublesome side effects, you can contact me on my work phone."

As soon as he had gotten back into Tony's car, Loki burst into tears.

"Lokes, what's wrong?" Tony asked with a frown. "You're not crazy. You just need to be treated for some stuff. Come on, don't cry..."

"I can cry if I have to!" Loki snapped, anger mingling with his distress. "Why does this have to happen to me? Why couldn't it happen to one of the men that raped me? They would deserve this! I suppose I deserve it too, though, because now I'm stuck with this for the rest of my life."

"Loki, you'll feel much better once your medication starts working," Tony assured him. "You just have to give it time. And I'm sorry that this has to happen to you, but I promise that this hasn't changed the way I look at you at all. I still see you as gorgeous, smart, and important. You haven't changed a bit in my eyes."

That seemed to calm Loki down enough for Tony to start driving. Still, Tony couldn't help but feel a ball of worry in his chest. What if things got worse before they got better?


	12. Pleased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki shows Tony something he's been hiding for a long time.

Loki avoided Tony for the rest of the day, still upset from the doctor's news. He lay in bed reading a book and pretending that he didn't secretly miss Tony. It was evening now, and he was already lonely and in need of Tony's company - how desperate, he thought. Loki sighed and got up to go downstairs, where he saw Tony watching TV.

"I'm sorry for getting angry with you," Loki said. "I was just upset because of the news. Listen, there's something I have to show you, but you can't tell anyone else."

"Okay, what is it?" Tony asked.

"Come to my room and we'll take things from there."

Tony had just stepped into Loki's room when Loki shoved him up against the wall and started kissing him hungrily. Tony went with it for a few moments before pulling away and saying, "Whoa, that was rather forward. What do you need to show me?"

"Just work with me for now," Loki said, pulling Tony towards the bed. "You'll find out soon enough."

They went back to kissing, and when both of them were aroused and breathing raggedly, Loki spoke.

"I told you about the frost giants being intersex, right?"

"Yes, but... wait, does this mean you're going to show me your... damn it, I don't know what to call it. Quim? That's a term that you'd probably use."

"It means exactly what you think it means," Loki replied. "But please don't be disgusted with me for my deformity."

His face hot with shame, Loki let go of the illusion hiding his female sex and got undressed. Sure enough, Loki's scrotum split into two lips with plump pink folds - a fully developed vagina with a clitoris. Tony's head swam, and he felt himself grow harder at the sight of it. Inquisitively, he touched Loki's labia and found the folds wet and slick.

"You're dripping wet," Tony remarked, his voice husky with arousal. "How could you ever be ashamed of this? It's beautiful. Now I just find you even sexier."

Loki breathed a heavy sigh of relief that was cut off when Tony started experimentally touching him. His hips jerked, and he let out a little whimper. "I-It's sensitive."

"Just let me take it from here, baby," Tony said before lowering his head between Loki's legs. When he started to lick, Loki practically screamed at the pleasurable sensation, making Tony smirk against the god's wet folds. He began to rub the clit, which made Loki actually scream. "Does that feel good?"

"Of course it feels good, you idiot," Loki gasped. "Now get back to what you were doing."

Tony continued to lick and rub until Loki was panting and moaning, clearly getting close to orgasm. When Loki came, he came so hard that his vision went fuzzy.

"Was that to your liking?" Tony said with a smirk.

"Yes," Loki replied. "But I want more. I want you inside of me."

Tony got himself undressed, rolled on a condom, and carefully slid himself inside Loki's new - at least, to Tony - entrance, and _damn,_ Loki was tight. With how incredibly tight he was, Tony was surprised he could even fit in. He heard Loki hiss in pain, which distracted him from the vicelike grip of Loki's entrance. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes," Loki said, wincing. "Not a lot, but it hurts. Will it stop hurting?"

"Yeah, it should go away in a moment or two," Tony said. "You ready?"

"Ready."

Tony started to thrust in and out of Loki, and the god's moans showed him that the pain had turned to pleasure. The tightness was making him close to coming very fast, but he forced himself not to for right then. Loki made the most wonderful moans and whimpers, and it was driving Tony crazy with lust. He felt drunk, the heady feeling of arousal taking over him.

Soon, Loki's moans got quicker and louder, and Tony knew both of them were about to come. When Loki climaxed, his inner walls clenched down on Tony, making the other come too.

Loki cuddled up to Tony when they had both gotten down from their highs and smiled. "You made me feel less ashamed of my body. Thank you."

Tony smiled and let Loki rest his head on his chest.


	13. Targeted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers learn of a new threat to Earth.

Tony was woken up at 3 AM by his bed partner moving around. He sighed tiredly when he looked at the time. "What are you doing, Lokes?"

Loki didn't answer, and that's when Tony realized he must have been asleep. Judging by Loki's thrashing, he was also having a nightmare. Tony shook him awake, waiting for Loki's breathing to slow before saying anything to him.

"You had a nightmare," Tony told Loki, feeling an ache in his chest when he saw Loki was crying, although silently. "But you're okay now. Nothing can hurt you now."

Loki buried his head in Tony's shirt and wept. Tony simply just stroked Loki's hair until he could see that Loki had calmed down. "What was it about?"

"Thanos," Loki said. "He's coming back for me."

The name didn't ring a bell at all to Tony, so he narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Thanos? Who's that?"

"The Mad Titan," Loki explained. "He gave me the scepter. He is intent on destroying all life in order to please Mistress Death, which I suppose would be similar to you humans' Grim Reaper. The Other warned me that if I failed to take over Midgard, he would find me no matter what I did to hide. And I failed, which means he will not be happy with me at all."

"But he's not just coming for you, right?"

"No, it's not just me he looks for. Since I couldn't take control of this world for him, he wants to take over it himself. And he's very powerful."

"I'll have to tell the Avengers about this and see if they have any information on this guy," Tony sighed. "But for now, go back to sleep."

In the morning, Loki paced the kitchen nervously. Steve was cooking eggs and bacon, and Bruce sat on the couch drinking a nice-smelling herbal tea. After a while, he grew tired of pacing and decided to take a seat on the couch, since he trusted Bruce more than he did Steve.

"Nervous?" Bruce asked. "You look really tired. Did you sleep okay?"

"Not at all," Loki answered with a sigh. "Look, there's something I need to tell your entire... team, but I don't know how to say it without seeming insane. Even though I am insane, I don't want to look like it."

"Alright, how about you wait until everyone's downstairs?" Bruce suggested. "And don't worry about looking crazy. We've handled some pretty crazy things before. How much different can whatever you have to say be?"

When Steve was finished cooking and everyone was at the table eating breakfast, Tony nudged Loki and said, "Reindeer Games has something to say."

"I can speak for myself," Loki said, rolling his eyes at the nickname. "I have learned that Earth will face a new threat soon, one even bigger than the Chitauri. Thanos, the Mad Titan, gave me the scepter that I used to control Agent Barton. Its mind-controlling power came from one of the infinity stones. There are six of these stones, and Thanos wants all of them. With the six stones in the Infinity Gauntlet, which he now possesses, an individual has power beyond imagination. He intends to destroy all life on Earth if he cannot take over it."

There was a long silence before Thor spoke up. "My friends, Loki is not talking nonsense. I know of Thanos and his desire. He wishes to win the love of Mistress Death by destroying everything that lives in the universe. He is very powerful and will stop at nothing."

"So why is he coming after Earth instead of someplace else?" Natasha asked. "He's going to destroy every world eventually, but why does he have Earth as a top priority?"

"He sent me to try and take over this planet," Loki said. "I failed, and now he's coming back for me because of that."

"Well, you seem to know a lot about this guy, so do you think you'd be willing to help us out?" Tony proposed casually. "As in, becoming a part of the team? We could use someone with your skills."

"You're asking Loki to be an Avenger?" Steve said. "How do you know he won't stab us in the back?"

"Spangles, I think he's changed a lot from the guy we fought at New York. And think of how much he could help us in battle. He's an expert with magic, he has power over ice and snow from being Jotun, and I'm sure Asgard would've trained him to be good at fighting."

"Loki has changed," Thor added. "I once thought he would never be the brother I knew as a child again, but he is much more mellow now. He isn't so wrathful and vindictive."

After a heavy pause, Natasha broke the silence. "I have hope for him. Loki, welcome to the Avengers. I'll start you on your training tomorrow."


	14. Trained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers prepare Loki for being part of the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter because I have writer's block. D:

"Why did you have hope for me?" Loki asked as Natasha lead him into the gym. "I thought you would hate me."

"I've been trying to recover from my past just as you are trying to recover from yours," Natasha said smoothly. "The Avengers gave me a second chance when they met me, so I thought that's what I'd do for you. Everyone deserves a second chance."

"People have given me many second chances. Why do I deserve another one?"

"Because you need somewhere to belong," Natasha answered. "You seem so lonely, and I thought it would be good for you to have friends and a sense of belonging. As long as you help us out, the Avengers will give you protection, friendship, and support. How does that sound?"

"It sounds very good."

"Good. Now, let's spar."

Sparring with Natasha was challenging, but Loki managed to take her down a couple times. She also taught him how to break out of zip-ties and duct tape and how to escape from being tied to a chair. By the time an hour was up, Loki was feeling invigorated and confident that he could fight just as well as the rest of the Avengers.

"You know, you're not bad at this," Natasha said with a playful smirk. "By that I mean that you're pretty good. Do you want to go out and get a smoothie? It's basically a drink made from blended fruit."

Loki nodded, and the two stopped at Jamba Juice. Loki found the mango smoothie quite delicious and quickly finished it.

"If you don't mind me asking," Natasha said between sips of her green smoothie, "what was your life like right before New York?"

"It wasn't very fun. I was envious of Thor, and I felt depressed and irritable. I spent most of my time practicing my magic in my room and reading - anything to isolate myself. Then I found out I was a frost giant - a monster. So I had a nervous breakdown, tried to destroy the homeworld of the frost giants, and attempted suicide."

"Wait, you attempted suicide?"

"Yes. Thor broke off a piece of the Bifrost with Mjolnir, and I was hanging over the edge. I willingly let myself fall, because I felt like I had failed my 'father'. Some father he was."

"I never knew you struggled with that kind of thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with that."

"Yeah, Tony brought me to a doctor and found out I have paranoid schizophrenia and depression," Loki sighed. "The schizophrenia isn't as bad now because the antipsychotic is starting to work, but I still see things sometimes. And the depression's still there, even though I've noticed a small improvement. It's still bad, though. I want to see Tony. Can we go home?"

When they had arrived at the tower, Loki smelled something sugary sweet from the kitchen. His mouth watered - he loved sweets. He went to the kitchen to see what was going on, and saw a cake with vanilla frosting and "Welcome to the Avengers, Loki!" written in green icing on the top. Tony was adding the finishing touches, and when he was done, Loki ran up and hugged him.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Loki exclaimed, kissing Tony on the cheek. "That's so nice of you."

"It was Steve's idea," Tony admitted. "He mixed all of the ingredients together, had Clint bake the cake, and let me frost it. Do you like it?"

"Of course I like it! And it looks delicious. I'm assuming we're having it after dinner?"

"Yes," Tony smiled. "Why so eager? Do you like sweets?"

"Of course I do! How could you not know that?"

"I was just joking, Lokes," Tony laughed. "I knew you liked sweet things."

"Like your lips," Loki said, kissing Tony.

Tony laughed, and Loki hugged him again with a smile.


	15. Shocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki goes on his first mission as part of the Avengers, and Tony comes back still in shock at what he saw.

When Tony woke up, Loki was still in a deep sleep, snuggled against Tony. Tony smiled at the sight - Loki was as usual purring instead of snoring, something Tony couldn't help but find adorable. He sighed when he realized he would have to shake Loki awake, as Loki was always grumpy when Tony had to do that. He did it anyway, but he didn't expect Loki to elbow him in the face.

"Ow!" Tony cried out. "Jesus, Lokes, what was that for?"

"You woke me up from a good dream," Loki grumbled. "I dreamt that my children came to see me."

"Wait, you have children?"

"Yes," Loki said, a note of sadness in his voice. "But they were banished, and I doubt that they still love me after so long."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Loki mumbled. "What time is it?"

"The time is now 7:03 AM," J.A.R.V.I.S. chimed.

Loki practically jumped, startled by the noise. "I'm never going to get used to that entity in your ceiling startling me."

"I do not live in the ceiling, Mr. Odinson," J.A.R.V.I.S. corrected. "I am an artificial intelligence system programmed into everywhere in this building."

"It's not Odinson!" Loki snapped.

"Then what shall I call you, sir?"

Loki hesitated, but eventually replied, "Just call me Loki."

"Alright, Loki. May I suggest that you wear something warm? It is quite cold out today."

"The cold has never bothered me," Loki muttered as he got dressed. "Where are we going for my first mission?"

Tony paused, unsure of how to deliver the news. "We're going to the Ten Rings headquarters where they tortured you."

Loki's breath quickened, and by the widening of his eyes, it was obvious that he was starting to panic. "W-why? You can't bring me there! Do you know what they'll do to me when they see me? They'll do everything they did to me all over again!"

"Shh, shh, baby, it's alright. We'll have the whole team with us and I'll be by your side at all times."

Loki was already crying. Tony sighed but came over to him anyway and hugged him, allowing Loki to bury his head into his shoulder and cry.

"It will be okay," Tony promised when Loki had stopped crying.

The quinjet flight to the location of the Ten Rings base was nearly silent. Natasha tried to make casual conversation, but Clint seemed to be in a bad mood and Steve and Bruce seemed tense and unwilling to talk. Tony was holding Loki's hand and assuring him everything would be alright. When they arrived at the base, Loki had gone silent and emotionless.

The team split up - Natasha and Clint went to hack into the computers to get a hold of any top secret information, and Steve and Bruce went to infiltrate the main part of the headquarters. Loki and Tony were headed to the torture cells, something Loki was obviously anxious about.

"Why are we going back to where they hurt me?" he asked, voice trembling.

"Because I want to know why they did what they did to you. They had to have a reason to hurt you that badly."

They eventually reached a hallway that branched out into interrogation rooms on the left and the complex of torture cells on the right. Tony and Loki turned right to enter a wide hallway with a long line of cells on each side. They were small white rooms with the odd feature of a clock on the wall. They had not been cleaned for some time judging by the dried blood that coated the floors. Tony shuddered when he saw that in some cells, there were messages on the wall written in blood, saying things like HELP ME, I'M SORRY, and even JUST KILL ME ALREADY. He knew they had reached Loki's cell when the god started hyperventilating.

The state of Loki's old cell was appalling. There was dried blood all over the floor and walls and something white on top of the blood. Tony nearly vomited when he realized it was dried semen. On the wall, there were two words written in blood: "I'M SORRY".

"You didn't deserve this," Tony said quietly. "You didn't deserve this at all."

When he saw a guard in the first hallway, Tony shoved him against the wall and held him there.

"You're going to tell me why you and the other guards hurt Loki," Tony grit out. "What you all did was sick and wrong."

"We were ordered to punish him in any way possible," the guard said. "For his crimes."

"Not even the worst criminal deserves what you guys did to him. That can't be the whole reason. Tell me more."

"That is the entire reason."

"How anticlimactic," Tony muttered as he released the guard. He saw other guards walk into the hall of cells, and he prepared to attack them, but he wasn't prepared for Loki to seize one of them and throw the guard to the ground.

Loki hit the guard in the face, breaking his nose, and then stabbed him in the chest. His next words were punctuated by more stabs. "You. Will. Not. Ever. Hurt. Me. Again!"

He attacked the other guards, beating them up and stabbing each of them. He saved one for last, whom he shoved against the wall.

"And you," Loki growled. "You are the one who hurt me the most, so in return, you will get hurt the most."

Loki then, to Tony's horror, cut open the guard's chest and ripped his still beating heart out, put it in a container, and then strangled the man to death with his own intestines.

When he was finished, Loki grabbed Tony by the arm and swiftly led him out of the hallway, carrying the container with the guard's heart in it.

Tony nearly vomited after the events that took place near the torture cells. On the quinjet flight back, he sat next to Bruce, afraid to be too close to Loki. When everyone was back home, Tony actually vomited when he saw Loki eating the heart.

"What the hell are you doing?" he croaked, his throat raw from stomach acid. "Y-you're eating a human heart! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It's not technically cannibalism," Loki said when he was finished eating the heart. "Asgardians are a different species."

"Still, that's... that's messed up!"

"Are you scared of me?"

"Kind of," Tony admitted. "I mean, they deserved what you did to them, but... it still shocked me."

Tony felt instant guilt when Loki burst into tears.

"I'm sorry!" Loki sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just couldn't stop myself. Please don't be scared of me, because then you'll leave me and I'll be alone with no one that loves me."

"I won't leave you, I promise."

"I doubt that," Loki snapped before storming off.


	16. Freezing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony get into a fight and Loki loses control over his Jotun powers.

Tony didn't sleep next to Loki that night, too afraid that the god might snap at him and leave a scene of gore in his wake. Tossing and turning, Tony found it hard to get to sleep, but even harder to stay asleep. Among his usual nightmares were nightmares replaying what he saw in the Ten Rings base. He couldn't get the image of Loki with blood-coated lips and teeth out of his mind, and it was making him think about how sick Loki really was. He thought Loki definitely needed to be evaluated by a mental health professional. As much as he loved Loki and wanted to make him happy, he was still appalled and deeply concerned. If Loki was starting to lose his mind, when would he lose it completely?

He sighed and got up off the couch to go and talk to Steve. The captain was usually up late at night for the same reason as Tony - nightmares, though Tony didn't quite know what they were about. Tony went downstairs to the common room and found Steve sitting on the couch sipping from a mug of hot chocolate.

"Hey, Tony," Steve greeted. "What's up?"

"I can't sleep because of what I saw when we were at the base," Tony said with a yawn. He was really starting to get tired, but his fear kept him awake and on high alert. "When I saw the torture cells, it was terrible. There was old dried blood all over the floors and some parts of the walls, and in Loki's old cell, there was... god, I can't even say it, it was that sick. But what scared me is how he attacked the guards that hurt him. And I know this is going to sound like I'm making things up, but he ripped a guy's heart out and ate it."

Steve blanched and choked on his hot chocolate, hissing at the burn from the hot liquid. "He what? That's just... that's just wrong on so many levels. Why would he do that?"

"I don't know," Tony replied. "But it's making me concerned. I mean, it's making me think about how sick in the head he really is. But I don't know what to do! If I got a therapist, he'd probably at the least threaten to kill them. And the meds are working, but instead of hallucinating and being depressed, now he's just having major mood swings. It's driving me nuts. One minute he'll be happy and at ease, and the next he'll be angry and unapproachable."

"Maybe it's a side effect of the medication?" Steve offers. "I don't know much about that kind of stuff, but it's just a guess."

"Maybe, but whether it's a side effect or not, I'm going to have to talk to him. Like, a serious talk. I don't anticipate it to go very well, though."

The next day, Tony brought Loki into his room after lunch. He didn't eat much of his meal, still nauseated by what Loki did.

"Look, we need to have a serious talk here," Tony said firmly. "What you did was sick and wrong, and I want to know why you did it. You may be worse than I thought you were as far as your schizophrenia goes. Did the voices tell you to do it?"

"Yes," Loki admitted. "Yes, they did."

"You told me you weren't hallucinating."

"I know I told you that!" Loki snapped. "But I lied. They don't talk to me as much as they did before the medication, but now they just show up whenever I'm really stressed, like I was underground in the base. When I'm relaxed, I don't hear them, but when I'm stressed out, I do."

"So now you're lying to me," Tony muttered. "What part of you thinks that's a good idea to do in a relationship?"

Loki just glared at Tony, refusing to give an answer.

"That's what I thought," Tony said, gritting his teeth a little in anger. Loki had lied to him when before he had spilled everything to him. "You are never to lie to me again, you hear me?"

"As if you have any control over that," Loki sneered. "Yes, I lied. But it's not that big of a deal. I lie all the time."

"Not to me! You were telling me the truth about everything that happened and being so open with me, and now you're suddenly lying that you're okay when you're not?"

"I am okay!" Loki yelled. "I am fucking okay. And I would be even better if you'd just leave me alone!"

"I can't leave you alone when I'm scared you'll hurt someone," Tony grit out. "You're going to clean up your act and show me that you're not a danger to others before I can leave you alone. Got that?"

"No."

"Of course the answer is no," Tony grumbled. "You know, you used to be a nice person to hang out with. Now, you're just a sicko with constant mood swings!"

"And you're not?" Loki snarled.

That was the last straw. Tony yelled in frustration and stormed off, but Loki followed him.

"Where are you going?" Loki demanded. "I thought you weren't going to leave me alone, seeing as you care more about other people than you do about me."

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. I do care, but that's my problem. I care too much about you, and that's a stupid thing to do seeing as with how messed up you are, you don't deserve someone to care about you!"

At that, something in Loki snapped. "SHUT UP!" he yelled, and then without him even thinking about it, he created a jagged wall of ice with dangerously sharp points. He couldn't remember choosing to use his Jotun powers, so he panicked on the inside. He looked at his hands, gasping when he saw that they were turning blue. He let his body transform into his Jotun form, now realizing all the damage he could do with his powers. This will be so much fun, he thought.

He froze the room, feeling the temperature drop. He fired blue blasts, creating sharp icicles hanging from the ceiling, smiling mischievously to himself. Tony ran away, but he managed to fire a blast of his magic at him. Tony dropped to his knees, clutching his head.

Loki froze the rest of the rooms in the part of the tower the Avengers lived in, then went outside and made it snow. It's not enough, he thought, so he used an immense amount of power to create a blizzard.

He went back inside and smirked when he saw the view of the city below turn into a whiteout.


	17. Unhinged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor comes back in the midst of the blizzard Loki started and things go down.

"Sir, the temperature in the rooms of the Avengers living area is remarkably low," Jarvis said smoothly. "Perhaps you might want to turn up the thermostat? It's only 15 degrees Fahrenheit in here."

"That bastard," Tony muttered. "Alright, J, turn the thermostat to its usual temperature."

After a second, Jarvis said, "It does not seem to be working, sir."

"Just give it a minute."

"Sir, I mean that the thermostat is not responding."

"Great," Tony hissed. "Forget about the temperature. Where's Loki?"

"He is in his bedroom at the moment. He appears to be talking to himself."

Tony rushed to Loki's door and knocked on it as hard as he could. "Loki, this isn't funny. Open this door right now."

The door was locked, so Tony started pounding on it. "Open this door right this second, Loki! This isn't funny at all!"

He received no response, so he decided to just give up on it rather than waste his energy. At that moment, Jarvis announced, "Thor Odinson is requesting entry."

"Oh, Fabio's back? Good. Maybe he can get through to Loki. Alright, Jarv, let him in."

Thor trudged in, face reddened against the cold with snowflakes in his wind-blown hair. "Tony, I apologize for not coming sooner. I was attending to some important business in Asgard. I heard of the blizzard and I knew I had to come. Is Loki alright?"

"No, no, he's not," Tony sighed. "He's having a nervous breakdown right now. He's hallucinating and having huge mood swings. I tried to get through to him, but it turned into fighting, and then he froze everything with his powers. And caused a blizzard over the entire New York City area. So, no, he's not alright at all."

Thor's brow creased in concern, and he got up with a sigh. "I will try and talk to him. I should be able to get through to him."

Thor went off to Loki's room and pounded on the door. He received no answer, so he grabbed Mjolnir from where he had checked his hammer at the door and took a deep breath. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, they say."

He used his hammer to smash down the door and walked in to find Loki talking to himself. "Brother, what are you doing?"

Loki stopped talking to himself and looked up, narrowing his eyes when he saw Thor. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"

"I want to know what's going on with you," Thor said, walking closer to his brother. "Why are you causing Tony so much trouble?"

"I don't want to talk to you!" Loki snapped, walking away from Thor. "Can't anyone just leave me alone?"

"I will leave you alone when you stop this blizzard and everything else you're doing," Thor managed to say without raising his voice at Loki. As much as he wanted to yell to make him understand, Thor didn't want to provoke Loki. "Don't get angry at me for no good reason. I'm only trying to help you."

"Help me? All you've done over all these years is hurt me!" Loki shouted. "You were the golden son and I was just the runt of the frost giant litter. Everything was always all about you, and it still is!"

"No, it's not!" Thor yelled back, taking a hold of Loki's shoulders and shaking him. "Snap out of it! Stop this madness!"

"I can't! I can't stop it!"

"Then somebody else will have to stop it for you," Thor sighed, resigning himself from arguing with Loki any more. "You're going to a psychiatric hospital on this world because you have been banished."

At that, Loki attacked Thor, and his screaming alerted the others. Bruce rushed in and injected Loki with a sedative, and Natasha wrangled him off of Thor and called an ambulance.

When he saw paramedics restraining Loki and putting him into the ambulance, Tony cried harder than he ever had in his life.


	18. Recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony visits Loki in the psychiatric hospital.

The next day, Tony was still upset over what happened. He was intending to work on a new suit, but instead he paced his lab aimlessly. He nearly cried again by thinking of when Loki was getting better instead of getting worse. Hearing footsteps jolted him out of his thoughts. Tony saw that it was Natasha, and she looked almost ashamed.

"I'm sorry that I ever let him be on the team," she sighed. "I trusted him too easily and now look what happened because of that."

"It's not your fault," Tony mumbled. "I was the one who suggested that he join the Avengers in the first place. I was stupid to fall in love with him."

"You were in love with him? I thought you two were just friends."

"Yeah, I was in love with him," Tony said sadly. "But I guess that's all over now."

"It doesn't have to be over," Natasha replied. "It's not his fault that he has a mental illness. Hopefully, the psychiatric hospital will help him get better and you can forgive him."

Tony nodded, but he didn't really believe he could forgive Loki. Still, he got in his car and drove to the psych ward Loki was in despite the blizzard that was still raging on. When he went inside and asked for Loki, a nurse lead him down a hall to a room at the very end of the hallway. In the room's bed, Loki was sleeping, but for some reason, he didn't look as peaceful as he usually did when he slept. Tony shook him gently to wake him up.

"Hey," Tony said after hesitating for a moment. "It's me, Tony."

It could have just been a trick of the light, but Tony thought he could see a film of tears forming on Loki's eyes. "What did I do?"

"Well, you ate a man's heart after beating up the guards that hurt you. Then you got into a fight with me and lost control of your snow and ice powers," Tony began. "Then, you froze everything and set off a blizzard. Thor came back and you attacked him, so you got dragged off in an ambulance to here."

Loki burst into tears, covering his face and sobbing into his hands. "I-I don't even remember doing any of that. I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Tony. Please forgive me... I'm so sorry. I'm a monster."

"No, you're not," Tony assured him. "But you really don't remember doing any of that?"

"I don't remember doing anything like what you said."

"You must have been really out of it, then," Tony said. "Come here, baby, it's okay. I forgive you. You weren't in your right mind, so I can't hold anything against you. It's gonna be alright."

Tony hugged Loki close, letting him cry until he was exhausted and couldn't cry any more tears. Then, he lied down on the bed next to Loki and stroked the god's hair to soothe him. It worked well and Loki was completely calm within 5 minutes.

"Tony... am I going to be okay?" Loki asked. "If I can't remember anything that I did, I must be really sick."

"You're going to be okay, I promise. Yes, you're really sick, but you can get better. You just need to be on the right dosage of your medication so it actually works. I think the doctor just put you on too low of a dose and that's why it wasn't working. Just cooperate with the people here and you can start getting better. If you don't think you can do it for yourself, do it for me. Okay?"

"Okay," Loki mumbled, wrapping his arms around Tony and snuggling into the warmth of Tony's body. The glow of the arc reactor and the warmth soothed Loki and he soon fell asleep again. Now, he looked peaceful in his sleep again, and Tony didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay and appreciate how beautiful Loki was in that moment, curled up under the sheets with a serene expression. Tony sighed and left the building to drive back to the tower.

When he got inside, he saw Thor sitting on the couch crying. The sight upset Tony, so he sat down on the couch with him and tried to think of something to say, but all he could come up with was, "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared that my brother will never be cured of his illness," Thor confessed. "I've never seen him in a state like this before."

"Well, there's no real cure to what he has," Tony admitted. "But it can be kept under control. He just needs a higher dose of his medication and some therapy and he should be fine. Don't worry."

"It's impossible not to worry, Tony. It hurts so much to remember the times when Loki was happy only to wake up to the reality that he isn't happy at all. He's not the brother I knew as a child and it's killing me.

"Look, I really don't know what I can say to make it better," Tony said. "Nothing can make this better except for time. Just wait and let the staff and doctors at the hospital do their work on him. I'm sure he'll be alright."

Tony patted Thor on the back and then went up to his room, trying not to reminisce about the times that Loki was smiling instead of crying.


	19. Threatened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Loki gets discharged from the psychiatric hospital, an unpleasant guest arrives.

It took Loki two weeks to become stable. The doctors wanted to keep him there longer to get the meds working before he got out, but the medications seemed to already be doing their job. No longer was Loki getting angry out of nowhere or shifting moods all of a sudden. In fact, he was rather calm and collected instead of upset and scattered. Tony couldn't have been happier. As he drove Loki back to the tower, he thought of what he was going to have to tell Loki. Though it seemed as though it would send the sanity Loki now possessed out the window, Tony couldn't just keep the information from him. Sooner or later, he was going to have to say it. He chose the option of later, because he didn't want any bad reaction to distract him from the road.

When the two entered the Avengers living area of the tower, Tony pulled Loki aside. "Look, you're not going to like what I have to say to you. But if I don't tell you, you won't be prepared and you might get hurt."

"Just get on with it," Loki said. "I'd rather have you just say it instead of dancing around the issue. It must be a truly grave manner since you are not making any jokes about it to try and distract from how bad the situation must be."

"Thanos is here on Earth and he's pinpointed your location," Tony said. There, he dropped the bomb. Oddly, though, there seemed to be no explosion - Loki barely even reacted. "Loki, I really thought you'd freak out about this. You're reacting like I just told you the temperature outside."

"I knew he was coming," Loki replied. "I've known that he knows where I am for days now."

"So why didn't you tell me? I only just found out yesterday."

"I didn't want to seem paranoid," Loki admitted. "If I said that someone was coming after me, the doctors would write it off as paranoia, even though it's not a delusion."

Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Okay, fair enough. Look, I really don't know what to do here. Bruce and I did some research and Thanos is the biggest threat to Earth that the Avengers have ever had to deal with. Well, we haven't dealt with him yet, but still, you get the idea. What are we supposed to do? He's powerful beyond imagination. It's not like we can just tell him to leave. We're going to have to fight him, and I have a feeling that lives are going to be lost. Particularly your life. And believe me, I don't what that to happen."

"I won't die," Loki promised. "And even if I do, I'll die fighting. Tony, you shouldn't be so worried about me. I'm not as vulnerable as you humans are. I've survived being shot at, which would kill you in a second."

"Still, Loki... I only worry about you so much because I love you. I love you so much that I can't even imagine how empty I'd feel if you died."

"And I feel the same for you," Loki said. "But there are some things that just need to be done, no matter how risky they are. I don't think it is beneficial for us to dwell on such somber things, so I suggest that we spend our time preparing for Thanos instead of worrying about what could happen."

While Tony made some tweaks to the suit, Loki spent the next couple hours sparring with Natasha. Strangely, they had become best friends despite how much they hated each other when they met. After the sparring was over, Loki went into his room to practice magic. He was trying to find a way to suppress the powers of the infinity stones in case Thanos had already gathered them along with the Infinity Gauntlet, but it was practically impossible. Instead, he decided to do something nice for Bruce.

When Loki was happy with his work, he brought what he had created downstairs. It was a bracelet with a glowing yellow stone hanging like a charm. It appeared to be just a regular piece of jewelry, but Loki had designed it to repress Bruce's alter ego when the scientist didn't want the Other Guy coming out.

"I made something for you," Loki told Bruce with a smile as he gave the bracelet to him. "It's enchanted with magic. Whenever you wear it, you won't turn into the Hulk. Of course, you wouldn't want to wear it during battle, but I made it for any other time that you don't want to hurt anyone if you get angry."

"Thanks," Bruce said, returning Loki's smile. "That was very nice of you. I'm sure I'll use it."

Loki smiled and went back to his room to practice force field spells that would protect him from Thanos. When he had nearly perfected one, he heard a crash, as if something had landed on the balcony of the tower's penthouse. Then, he heard a familiar voice in his head say, "I've finally found you, Laufeyson."

Loki screamed.


	20. Attacked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers battle the Chitauri again while Thanos makes Loki "long for something as sweet as pain".

Loki knew it was stupid, but he ran up to Stark Tower's penthouse anyway. There stood Thanos along with a group of Chitauri. The sight of the creatures brought terrible memories back to the god and he shuddered.

"I'm sure the Other warned you of what would happen to you if you failed," Thanos boomed. "But you could have never prepared for the pain I'm about to cause you, godling."

"I'm not afraid of dying," Loki sneered, trying to put on an arrogant front to hide how terrified he was on the inside. "Now stop with the idle threats and just get to it. If you're going to try to kill me, do it."

Thanos threw Loki to the ground as if the god were a mere ragdoll. Winded, Loki gasped for breath and glared at Thanos when he heard a deep laugh from the Titan.

"Not so strong now, are you, Liesmith?" Thanos taunted. "Let me keep your friends busy while I show you what the Other meant."

Groups upon groups of Chitauri came, and already Loki could see Tony in his suit blasting them while Clint shot arrows and Natasha shot at the aliens. The sight of Tony made Loki sigh in relief, but he still trembled in fear.

Thanos pinned Loki to the ground and held one massive hand around the god's throat. "Do you know the power I could've possessed if you didn't fail me? I would have all of the stones by now had it not been for your failure. You got my hopes up, godling. And for that, you're going to suffer."

At that moment, Loki felt a burning sensation. He looked at himself and saw that he was on fire. He tried not to scream so Thanos wouldn't have something to laugh about, but it was impossible to not make a sound. It was pure agony. Loki's vision went black at the edges as he cried out and the air became heavy with the smell of burning flesh. As soon as it had began, though, it was over. Loki saw that no visible damage had been done to his skin - most likely to make it so third-degree burns wouldn't numb any of the pain. Then, Loki heard a sickening snapping noise. He looked at himself and gasped when he saw that his leg was broken to the point that the bone had burst through the skin and was sticking out.

Loki lost track of time after that. More bones were broken and a few times more he was set alight. The world became nothing but a dizzying blur as pain took over. Eventually, the pain was enough to make him lose consciousness. Thanos saw no point in hurting Loki when he was passed out - after all, it was all about the pain - so he went to summon more Chitauri.

Now that most of the Chitauri were dead, Tony flew up to the penthouse balcony of Stark Tower to see if Loki was there. He gasped when he saw the condition of the god. Bones were poking through on Loki's right leg and both of his arms. He was bruised and there was a deep, gaping gash in his stomach. Tony tried to convince himself that what he was seeing wasn't real, but he couldn't. He landed on the balcony and rushed to Loki's unconscious body.

"Loki? Come on, baby, wake up," Tony pleaded. "Please don't be dead. Please!"

Tony felt a surge of relief when he checked Loki's pulse and felt a weak but steady thrum. He saw that more Chitauri were coming, so he flew back to where the rest of his team was now that he knew Loki was still alive.

Loki wasn't sure how long it took, but he came back to consciousness. His head swam at the pain from his broken bones, but somehow, he managed to stand up. There, he saw Thanos, and he finally noticed that strapped to Thanos's back was a large sword. He snuck behind Thanos and plunged the sword into the Titan's back. Thanos simply removed it and stabbed Loki so deep that the weapon came out of the god's back.

Loki nearly passed out again from the pain and screamed in terror when he saw what had happened to him. He tried to remove the sword, but it was impossible to do anything with all the agony he was feeling. He saw Tony flying over to him and felt himself being picked up.

"Loki!" Tony cried. "No, no, no! What have you done? Y-You can't die. Please don't die on me, baby."

Loki saw the other Avengers crowding around Tony and heard a sound that broke his heart. Tony was crying.

That sound was the last thing Loki heard before his vision went black.


	21. Relieved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds out that Loki is still alive and Loki finds a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short and mostly fluff but the next chapter will have more plot.

Loki's head pounded as he opened his eyes. He found that he was lying down on the couch of the Avengers common room with the whole team surrounding him. "I'm alive?"

"I thought you would never wake up," Tony said, his eyes red-rimmed from crying. "Thank God you're alright."

Further taking in his surroundings, Loki saw that there were casts on both of his arms and his right leg. He tried to get up but his limbs protested with a stab of pain. "What happened while I was out?"

"Well, Thanos left, but we're 99.9% sure he'll be back," Steve reported. "Bruce put your broken bones in casts and put you on painkillers, so you might feel woozy for a few hours."

"Hopefully he doesn't act as weird as Clint did when he was on painkillers," Natasha said with a smirk. "Anyway, Tony ordered pizza because all of us were too tired to make anything. After that, we're watching _Frozen._ Tony thought you would like it."

Seeing that Tony chose Loki's favorite toppings again made the god smile, and he felt a bit better after he had his meal. He sat down on the couch and cuddled up next to Tony with a blanket to watch the movie. Loki ended up loving the movie, but he fell asleep at the credits out of exhaustion.

When he woke up again, Loki decided to take a walk outside and try the crutches Bruce gave him. It was tough to get used to walking with crutches at first, but he managed to walk with them anyway. All of a sudden, Loki heard a high-pitched noise. He turned around to see a tiny kitten mewing at him.

"Aww, hi, little kitty," Loki cooed to the kitten. "Are you a stray?"

The kitten mewed again as if in response and sniffed his hand, then rubbed up against his leg. Loki smiled and gently picked it up. It had fluffy black fur and bright green eyes. He cradled it like a baby to his chest and smiled again when he heard it start to purr.

"I think I'll give you a home."

Loki carefully brought the kitten back to the tower and brought it to Tony. "I found this cutie out in the streets. I think she's a stray."

"I'm not sure if we can keep her," Tony sighed.

"Please?" Loki pleaded, doing his best puppy-dog eyes. "I'll take good care of her."

Tony paused but eventually said, "Okay. But you're cleaning the litter box, because this was your idea."

Loki and Tony bought a litter box, cat food, a pet bed, and food and water bowls. They set everything up and then fed the kitten for the first time. Loki named her Fuzzball because of how fluffy she was.

Though his bones were broken and he wasn't sure what was going to happen with Thanos, as Loki watched Fuzzball sleep on his lap, he felt happy.


	22. Enlightened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As well as Thanos' location, The Avengers finally find out who was behind Loki's torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry that this took so long. I got a very bad case of writer's block that lasted for a while, but I've finally come up with an idea. Once again, sorry for the wait.

Loki played with Fuzzball for a bit, smiling and laughing at how eagerly the kitten chased the red dot of a laser pointer. He also sprinkled a bit of catnip on the ground and chuckled at how Fuzzball was rolling around and seemingly attacking the floor. When Fuzzball was tired, she curled up in her new catbed and Loki placed an old sweater of his over her as a blanket. Tony came over and smiled at Loki. "I'm glad you found her. She seems to make you very happy."

"Yes, she does," Loki agreed. "Almost as happy as you do."

He placed a kiss on Tony's cheek, causing his lover to hum happily. A couple seconds later, though, it appeared as if Tony's mood had changed in an instant. The mechanic was biting his bottom lip and tapping one foot. There was an awkward pause, but eventually, he sighed and turned to face Loki.

"Look, I need to ask you some things," Tony said. "Not anything about the torture, because I've already gotten as much information out of you as possible and I don't want to make you upset. I just need to know who was behind all of the sick things they did to you. We didn't get much from the guards at the Ten Rings facility. They just said that they were instructed to torment you without any reason as to why. I think that's a bit fishy. So if you're able to, please explain to me as much as you can. Going to those guards wasn't enough. I want to find who was pulling the strings and find out why."

Loki's eyes widened. "Tony, I can't. I'll get in trouble."

Tony sighed again. "Really, Lokes? That's what you said earlier and they didn't come after you. You can trust me. The Avengers and I won't act upon anything until we're sure that we need to take action and we have a solid plan."

He led Loki to the couch and placed a blanket over the god, sitting next to him. "I want you to be comfortable when you're telling me this. Try not to worry too much. I know it's hard, but you can do it. I believe in you."

Letting out a little gasp, Loki looked at Tony. "You believe in me? I-I've never heard that from anyone before."

"That's kind of sad," Tony mused with a frown. "Anyway, yes, I do. You're strong. You have some mental problems, but that's to be expected after everything they put you through. But you fight through an everyday battle with your mind and I think that's amazing. Trust me, if I were you, I'd have gone completely off the deep end."

Loki smiled a little. "Thank you. I don't really know where to start, but I guess I'll start at when I was captured. It was the middle of the night when I heard what sounded like a plane flying very low. I looked up at the sky and saw the lights of the aircraft. It was hard to tell its shape, but after around ten minutes, I heard it land off in the distance. I only heard it because the landing was very loud for some reason. After another ten minutes, these strange men came up to me in the alley I was in. They were wearing these strange pins of a skull with some kind of tentacles or snakes coming out of it. One of them came up to me and told me that it wasn't safe for me to be in New York."

Tony's eyes narrowed and he was about to speak, but Loki shushed him.

"I couldn't speak because my lips were sewn shut at the time, but the men didn't seem to be shocked by it at all, which made me a bit suspicious. The man said that he and his group were going to take me to a homeless shelter fairly far away from New York. He said it was very safe because it was underground. Of course, I couldn't protest because I couldn't speak. The men took me into their aircraft, which I saw looked like a military plane. One of them handcuffed my hands behind my back and blindfolded me. I don't know how long it took, but eventually, we arrived at what I would later learn was a Ten Rings base. They left and then a man led me into a small room and knocked me out. When I woke up, the blindfold and handcuffs were off, and I saw that I was locked in a cell."

Tony took a moment to process the information. "HYDRA was behind it. I know their symbol."

Loki nodded. "Turns out that HYDRA was working on a sort of test. To develop a serum that would make soldiers immune to developing PTSD - that is, it would work on anyone but only be used on soldiers - they were experimenting on the brain's reactions to trauma. They wanted to see how much trauma a person could experience before losing their mind. This would give them information on what chemicals cause catatonia and other symptoms of severe trauma. I was their number one candidate because as terrible the things they'd done were, they still believed I needed to be punished for my actions in New York. HYDRA also wanted to see the difference in between human brains and Asgardian brains, so they figured I was perfect for the experiment."

"Torturing people for research? Sounds typical of a Nazi organization," Tony muttered. His fists were clenched and he was breathing a little quicker than usual. How could anyone do such a thing, even for the sake of science?

Noticing Tony's anger, Loki said, "Settle down. I know you're upset, but you told me you wouldn't take action just yet. Just think of Fuzzball's cute little paws."

Despite his crossness, the corners of Tony's mouth turned up slightly. "You're adorable. Thanks for telling me all this. I just don't really know what to do with it. HYDRA is a tough enemy to beat. Do you know Thanos' location? You said that you can sense him."

"Currently, he is on the home world of the Chitauri, likely planning something," Loki replied. "But at least he's not here."

Tony and Loki reported all of this information to the team, who quickly went to research. Suddenly, Tony received a text on his phone from an unknown number. He tried calling the number before reading the text, but strangely, he got the message that the number was out of service. He sighed and read the text:

[WE ARE GIVING YOU ONE WEEK TO DELIVER LOKI LAUFEYSON TO US. IF YOU DO NOT DELIVER HIM, WE WILL TAKE HIM BY FORCE.]


	23. Scarred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Loki disappears, Tony has no idea what to do. When Loki shows up, Tony still doesn't know what to do.

Even though the text said a week, Loki disappeared a day later. The second he saw that Loki wasn't sleeping next to him, Tony got confused. The god loved to sleep next to him and although Loki's skin was freezing, Tony loved it when Loki lay down with him. Afraid that Loki had been captured by whoever sent the text - HYDRA, he guessed - he went into a frenzy and searched the whole tower for him. Still, Loki was nowhere to be found. Tony let out a resigned sigh and told himself that Loki probably just went out on a walk. That idea comforted him for only so long, because a week passed and Loki still hadn't shown up. At that point, Tony tried to tell himself that Loki wasn't coming back and he would just have to get over it. However, that was easier said than done.

In the middle of breakfast, Natasha answered a phone call and immediately after it ended, she pulled Tony aside.

"I just received a call from Thor," she whispered. "He went out this morning and didn't tell anyone why, but it turns out that while he was gone, he found Loki. He didn't give me all the details - I mean, he sounded choked up, like he was going to cry - so I assume that something bad happened to Loki. He told me not to freak out when he brought his brother back. Apparently, HYDRA captured him for one last experiment. And from the tone of Thor's voice, I think it must have been a rather cruel experiment."

Tony sighed and scrubbed his face. "Great. Are they coming back now?"

Right at that moment, J.A.R.V.I.S announced, "Sir, Thor Odinson is requesting entry."

"Let him in, J."

Thor walked into the kitchen holding someone who had flopped in his arms like a ragdoll. It took Tony a second to realize who Thor was holding. He rushed up to the god he loved to call Fabio, but Thor made a stop signal with his hand while still holding his brother.

"Loki is very upset right now," Thor said. "I suggest that you wait for him to get accustomed back into his usual surroundings before talking to him."

Thor lay Loki face-down on the couch, and Tony asked, "Why didn't you put him face-up?"

Loki whimpered, a pitiful sound that reminded Tony of how scared Loki was in the alley.

"He doesn't want anyone to see his face," Thor sighed.

"Well, I want to."

"I think you'll regret saying that," Thor said, flipping Loki so his brother was lying on his back.

Tony gasped and felt bile rise in his throat when he saw Loki. Terrible fresh scars marred the area around Loki's eyes, and Loki's eyes were milky white and clouded over instead of sharp and green.

"Where am I?" Loki asked. "I can't see anything!"

It hit Tony so hard that he felt like Thor had struck him with Mjolnir - Loki had gone blind. He didn't know what to say, so he just said, "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here."

"Tony? Where are you?" Loki said, feeling around for Tony. "I-I can't see you!"

Suddenly, Tony had a realization. "They experimented on you with the same treatment you got in the myths. They bound you, put a snake over you, and let it drip its venom into your eyes. Am I right?"

Loki nodded. "That never actually happened to me until now. But yes, they were doing one last experiment to see what gives Asgardians their remarkable healing. They left me blind, and I probably look terrible right now."

Loki waved a hand over the scarred area on his face, getting rid of the scars. However, his eyes were left cloudy and greyish-white. "I can get rid of scars, but I can't fix blindness. I guess I'm just doomed to be a burden on you now that you'll have to help me do everything."

"You're not a burden," Tony assured him. "You've never been a burden on me. I'll help you out."

Tony spent most of the day helping Loki feel around for everything so he'd know where everything was. He taught him how to eat without seeing the food by using a clock system - one dish at 5 'o clock, another at 12 'o clock and so on. When Loki had gotten familiar with his surroundings again, Tony took some time to himself in his lab to relax. He didn't know what to work on, so he just tinkered with the bracelets that made his suit come to him. When he was in the middle of working on ones that would get the suit to him quicker, Loki came in.

The god was shooting small blasts of green light that made a pinging sound. Tony smiled when he figured out what Loki was doing. "You've come up with a way of echolocation?"

"Yes," Loki replied. "Though I have to be careful to not use too much energy doing it, it will be very helpful in helping me find things."

Loki then proceeded to find several things in the room using his magic-based echolocation. When he was exhausted, he intended to sit down on one of the stools in the lab, but he tripped over a screwdriver and fell to the floor. Immediately, Tony rushed towards Loki and started saying over and over again that he was sorry for the screwdriver being in the middle of the floor. Tony didn't realize something was wrong until he saw the blood pooling around Loki's head.

"Shit!" Tony cursed, lifting Loki up and hurrying to Bruce. "He fell because of me! I forgot to pick up a screwdriver that fell off the table in my lab and he tripped. C-can you help? I don't want him to die!"

"He won't die," Bruce said calmly. "Just don't panic. He'll be alright. I can't bring him to a hospital because they'd want to experiment on him, but I promise you that he'll live with my help."

Bruce stopped the bleeding and put stitches on Loki's head. When he was done, Loki woke up in a daze.

"What happened?" Loki mumbled.

"You tripped and fell," Tony said. "And you scared the crap out of me. I'm so glad you're okay!"

Loki got up and hugged Tony. "I love you even if I can't see you."

Tony laughed nervously. "I don't know where that came from. I thought you'd be mad at me."

"I'm not," Loki replied. "I just wanted to let you know that I love you, even though I can't see your handsome face anymore."

Tony smiled and helped Loki walk to the common room. Loki had no problem eating lunch using the clock system Tony was using with him.

Later, when Tony was in bed with Loki, Loki hugged Tony again. "Could you get me some books in Braille?"

"Of course," Tony said. "I just wanted to tell you that even if your eyes aren't exactly green anymore, you still look amazing."

Loki smiled at him, then smiled wider when Fuzzball came up on the bed and nuzzled his leg. "Maybe everything will be alright after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is nearing the end! I don't have many ideas for the ending, but I can promise you guys that it will be a happy one.


	24. Remade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki learns to cope with his blindness, and good news comes Loki and Tony's way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short because the epilogue comes next.

Tony wasn't very fond of being woken up at 3 AM, even if it was Loki who was waking him up. Loki didn't wake him up on purpose, though; the sound of the god crying did it for him. He sighed heavily and rolled over to face Loki. "What's wrong?"

"I must look terrible," Loki said with a sniffle. "And I can't see your face anymore. I want to see you so badly."

Tony gently wrapped his arms around Loki and started petting his hair. "You don't look terrible, and you can just imagine what I look like. You've seen me more than enough to do that."

"But it's just not the same," Loki replied with a frown. "It's not just that. I can't watch sunsets anymore, and I can't see the colors when picking clothes to wear."

"All you wear is green and black anyway," Tony quipped. "I'll see what I can do for you. Maybe I can make some sort of device to help you see. Now go back to sleep."

Loki lay back down and tried to sleep, but he ended up being up all night. In the morning, Tony saw the dark circles under Loki's eyes and sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Make me chocolate chip pancakes, that's what you're going to do," Loki mumbled, still trying to fall asleep.

"Use your manners."

Loki sighed exaggeratedly and said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "May I pleeeease have some chocolate chip pancakes, sirrrr?"

Tony laughed so hard that his laugh was silent and got up. "Of course you can."

Loki smiled and followed him downstairs. After he was done eating, he practiced his echolocation technique some more. Soon, it was very easy for him to tell where things were, though it still bothered him that he couldn't see anything.

While Tony was watching Loki, he was on his laptop. He got a new e-mail from Maria Hill, which wasn't something that happened very often. He opened it and read it. "Loki, I have good news! The HYDRA agents who were behind your torture were arrested and they're on trial now. There's a good chance of them being convicted despite who you are."

It took a bit for Loki to process the news, but when he did, he smiled and rushed over to Tony. "How did this happen?"

"Natasha and I bugged Fury enough to send out S.H.I.E.L.D agents to get them. Nat's really fond of you, you know. Funny how you guys hated each other and now you're practically best friends."

Loki's smile turned into a grin. "Thank you so much, Tony! I love you."

Loki's grin was so contagious that Tony smiled too. "I love you too. But you should thank Natasha as well."

Tony went to working in his lab to try and figure out a way to help Loki see, but his efforts were fruitless. As much as he knew about technology and mechanics, he couldn't think of a way to restore Loki's vision fully or at least partially. That didn't matter very much, though, because Loki had started work on a spell that could partially give him his vision back.

Loki worked on the spell for days, often growing very tired but never giving up on a day's work. It took him a while, but eventually, Loki had created a healing spell that would allow him to see colors and shapes, though his vision would be very blurry. When he performed it, he felt a surge of glee and bounded down the stairs.

"Tony!" Loki shouted before tackle-hugging Tony. "My spell worked! I can see shapes and colors now! It's all very blurry, but still, I can see! Well, somewhat."

Tony had to take a second to recover from the surprise of being tackled, but he broke out into a laugh and hugged Loki back. "That's great, Lokes! I'm proud of you."

Loki grinned and got off of Tony to pick up Fuzzball and cradle her in his arms like she was a baby. For the first time in a while, he felt truly happy.


	25. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki learns that things just might be okay in the end.

Loki perfected his spell, but he still could only see colors and shapes. However, that was enough for him, because he could now see some details as well, but not as many as someone with 20/20 vision. He was happy nevertheless, and it made Tony smile when he saw how cheerful Loki was.

What made him even more cheerful is how the Avengers gradually grew to accept him completely. Hawkeye was still a little wary of Loki, but he wasn't wanting to hurt him. Tony expected that his team would grow to accept Loki, but he didn't expect a certain conversation with Loki.

"Tony, I want a child," Loki said all of a sudden when he and Tony were relaxing in bed.

"You what?"

"You heard me. I want a child."

"I didn't think you'd want children."

"I've had children before, you idiot."

Tony sighed, but said, "Yes, we'll have a child. Do you want to adopt or um..."

"Get pregnant? I hope you remember that it's possible for me."

"Sorry."

"I want to birth my child. That will making bonding with him or her easier."

It took a few weeks of trying for a baby, but one day, Loki rushed up to Tony with the good news. Tony smiled, though deep down, he had a feeling that he shouldn't be a father.

Already more emotional than most people, Loki grew even moodier during his pregnancy. Any minor annoyance was enough to cause him to yell at Tony, and as his belly swelled and he put on the baby weight, Loki cried about being "fat". It became easier and easier for Tony to grow frustrated with Loki, but he just reminded himself that Loki was carrying his child and he could be as emotional as he wanted to be.

One night, Tony found Loki crying silently in his room, not in the way as he would if he was crying over the way his body looked.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked.

"She won't stop kicking," Loki sniffled. "I've tried lying down in every position possible, but she just won't get comfortable."

Tony rubbed Loki's now-round belly and said in a whisper, "Look, Pumpkin, Mama's upset right now because you won't settle down. Allow him to get some rest."

To Loki's surprise, the kicking stopped. "It only occurred to me just now that I'll technically be the mother of this rascal."

"Yes, and you'll be the best mama in the world," Tony smiled. "How do you know it's a girl?"

"She feels like a girl," Loki replied with a shrug.

According to the ultrasound Bruce performed on Loki the next day, Loki and Tony's child was a girl. Tony immediately bought the cutest baby girl clothes he could find, which Loki complained about not being green (figures, Tony thought), but appreciated anyway. Because he thought it would be good for the baby's room to have a woman's touch, Tony worked on a nursery with Natasha.

A few months later, Loki delivered a healthy baby girl, whom he and Tony named Astrid. Loki adored her instantly, which to his chagrin, made the other Avengers less fearful of him. He shuddered at the thought of seeming domesticated now that he was the mother to a child, but along with Tony, nothing made him happier than seeing Astrid asleep in his arms.

It took the Avengers a while to adjust to the idea that Loki had given birth to a child, but they grew to love Astrid. Natasha sang Russian lullabies to her when her parents couldn't get her to sleep, Bruce made homemade baby food for her, and Steve told her stories about his life before being frozen and waking up in a different century. By that time, Loki had lost the baby weight and no longer got mad at Tony thanks to his hormones being balanced again.

After what happened to him in his cell, Loki never expected to be truly happy ever again. However, as he rocked Astrid to sleep in his arms, he decided that things were looking up.

"Maybe everything will be okay after all," Loki said with a smile to his child, who was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the end right there. Thank you to everyone who left kudos on and supported this story!


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